As we fell further into fall, you were in my life more and more. Things fizzled out with you and the girl from church, just like I thought they would. She wanted something that wasn't so easy and started to chase after someone new. I remember thinking she was such a fool and she didn't know a good thing when she saw it. You promised us you were fine and kept reiterating the fact that you had liked her four years ago and that you never really felt peace about the whole thing. You started coming over lots, we were a fun trio. We always ended up getting pizza, picking out a movie from the library at your college, and laughing our heads off the whole night. I would always pick you up from school, since you were on my way home from work and weren't allowed to have a car on campus.
One particular night you came over with a lot on your mind, you confessed that you were thinking that God was calling you to be single your whole life. You told us how you wanted to move back to Africa after school and help people there. You said you didn't expect someone to move to a foreign country for you. I couldn't help it, I remember the way my voice shook as I yelped out, "that's not true, if a girl really loved you, she would follow you to the ends of the earth." These words would later come back to haunt me. We talked it out, how it didn't have to be all or nothing, that God always finds ways to get around the barriers we build for ourselves. We laughed about promising to marry each other in five years if we were both still single. We drew up a ridiculous contract that was written in a combination of old English and Disney-like analogies. Yesterday I turned on my old phone to get a number out of it and I was reading some of my old texts, they were the ones I kept in a secret folder marked 'edits' because they've meant something to me. I found one from you, from this very night at 1:10 am, "God willing ill see you tomorrow...ps u made my night :)" And there I was again, accidentally setting myself up to be more and more invested in you and our fake future together. I never learn. Expectations are the root of all disappointment.
Your posts are better then anything on Tv I tell you.
ReplyDeleteI too once had an agreement with a close guy friend that we would marry at 25 if we were single.
oh thanks. It's so fun getting your comments. Thanks for taking time to read all of my nonsense. What ended up happening with your guy?
ReplyDeleteWell lucky me, I ended up with the boy I always wanted when I was 19. Now Im 28, and he is my husband :) So I didn't have to fulfill the contract, haha :)
ReplyDeleteoh that's the nicest thing i've heard in a while. I want to hear your story sometime!
ReplyDeleteMy story?? Well I think my story truly began When I was 27. Haha, I'm just a babe ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm basing my life around Jesus, and when I became a follower of Him. This past year blows the rest of my life out of the water. and yet there is still much more growth ahead. A decision i believe He is calling me to that will require incredible faith in His ability to take care of me (and my husband). I'm so excited yet Scared... to make the move and to tell certain people. I'm still praying on it, but I think God now just wants me to make the first step.
So my story is just beginning... it's freeing telling you that. although you don't know what, I still haven't told anyone even as much as I just told you. It's nothing huge... just the faith that is required is whats huge. and for a shy gal like me, it's huge.
That's an awesome thing to base your life around. I always get so excited and encouraged by people who have recently decided to follow Jesus. Being a Christian for as long as I can remember and being raised in a christian home often leaves me taking advantage of the fact that someone died for me. That's so exciting taking that step, and you're right, incredibly scary! You're so brave. Seriously and I love all of your artwork. It makes me want to start an etsy. My roommate and I went to school for graphic design and she loves to sew, so your blog is a combination of everything we love. :) keep up the good work, you make my day brighter!
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