Here's the part of the story where you stop having a cellphone and all of our communication turns into facebook messages. This month your little sister ran up $1,000 dollars worth of charges on her cellphone, the one you paid for. You couldn't pay it all back at once since you were in school full time, so they turned off both of your phones. I asked you if your sister was going to pay you back, selfishly trying to estimate when I could resume a texting relationship with you again. You were almost offended when you told me that families don't ever owe each other, you didn't even expect her to try and pay you back, you weren't even mad at her. I remember feeling bad for asking you that, and feeling guilty for my American ways, the ones where we worry too much about money, instead of what really matters, like family. Oh how I admired your character, it made me feel inferior to you sometimes, but then I would remember that you were a lot younger than me, and what you lacked in years, you made up for in wisdom, so I told myself everything came out even.
On this particular day our trio was meeting up at your school, you wanted pictures off of our computer from a photoshoot we had a few nights before, you said you needed a new profile picture. (Confessional#2 I remember flying to your school right from work, hoping to get in a good half hour alone with you before my roommate got there.) You opened the door for me wearing this flat brimmed yankees hat. You keep your hair so short that it makes your head look tiny, and your hat was too big for you. I had a lot of hat comments for you and somehow that hat ended up on my head, you told me I needed to wear it backwards and flipped it around for me, you said all the guys would go crazy over me now. Ironic, since you were the only guy that I wanted to be crazy about me. You told me to keep the hat. I was secretly delighted and did a little dance routine in my head.
When my roommate showed up a little while later, she saw the hat on my head and shot me a look, I remember a hint of something that I couldn't quite identify flashed across her face for one millisecond. I blocked it out, not knowing if I had imagined it or not. I think that's when she knew what I couldn't admit out loud. Everyone knows that when you wear a boys hat...You had this African looking boomerang in your room and you showed us how to use it, we ended up taking a ton of ridiculous photos with it in photobooth. One shot in particular was hilarious, the flash didn't go off in time, and it was your silhouette with the weapon flying above your head, it looked like a scene straight out of a tribal horror movie. Do they make those? They should. We laughed about the picture for 5 minutes straight.
You eventually transferred our pictures onto your computer, I was anxious to see which one you would post as your profile picture. I hate how I use facebook and profile pictures to dictate who is important to me, I only put the people and events that mean a lot to me in my profile pictures, I assumed you did the same. I remember thinking that I really needed to get a life, this wasn't even a big deal. I think I was just dying to know how you felt about me, and you seemed to tell me your opinion on everything else in the world, but me. You picked one of you with my roommate, I kept reassuring myself that it was okay, I had your hat. Later when we got home, I hate to admit this, but I promised to be honest about everything on here, even if I look like an idiot. I was THAT girl, I took a picture of myself in your hat and sent it to you. I wanted you to know how much I loved the hat, that's not true, I don't even like sports. I liked it because it was yours, and I wanted my face to stick with you, even when I wasn't there.
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