those annoying facebook status'

The first time I missed you, it was the end of August 2010, my friends threw me a huge surprise party with a 50's theme, It was so fun and nice of them. They put a lot of hard work into all the planning and the decorations. I wasn't too surprised by who they had decided to invite, I was having the time of my life, but I can remember wishing that you were there to share it with me, and being confused as to why I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I remember the first time I felt something for you. It was in September. It started on a Saturday night. You updated your facebook status and said something about getting some terrible news and being really upset about it. Usually these status' annoy me to death, but for some reason I wrote you a message and asked you if everything was okay. You mentioned something about your best friends dad dying or something that sounded pretty obscure to me, but I told you I hoped you were okay and that I would be praying for you. You had gotten hurt playing soccer that weekend and showed up to church walking with a limp. You seemed so broken, both physically and emotionally.

It was our big relaunch at church, and the sanctuary was packed. It was so exciting and crazy to see our normally half filled church packed to the brim. My whole family was there that week, there weren't even enough seats for everyone to sit. I can still remember how badly I wanted my family to meet you, and my mother's response after meeting you. She leaned over and whispered in my ear, "he's the blackest boy I've ever seen." Oh mama, sometimes she just doesn't realize how offensive she sounds. With everything going on around me, all I could see was you, sitting there in your seat with your head down, you were praying while everyone else was greeting each other. The worship music started, everything was abuzz, but there you were in your own little world, and I found myself wanting to be part of it, to get inside that head of yours and make you laugh, make you forget about everything bad, if only for a second. I never would have admitted this out loud, but birthday parties and Sunday mornings were starting to take a toll on me.